i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
