Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
