I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
3 2 1 whiskey
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
