my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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