Who did Billy Mays play for?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
