My room smells like vodka and shame
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
