sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize