why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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