Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Randomize
