even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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