We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
