your room smells of hookers.
And success
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She bit a glass in half.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
