I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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