Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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