***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
