your room smells of hookers.
And success
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
