franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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