My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize