I just made out with a guy for $7.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
