No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
