apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it's great music for shaving your balls
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So here I am, sexting at work.
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