We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
