U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
