I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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