The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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