Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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