i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
