i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
