My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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