just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
