just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
