Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
