Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
