I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
