I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
