do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
