Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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