You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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