This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just had sex bonerless
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize