My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
