You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize