But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just blew my weed a kiss
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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