May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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