Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
