Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
