Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
