I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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