Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
