U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
