you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
