rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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