Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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