I think I died a long time ago.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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