i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
