i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
