im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize