what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
