I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
