Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
