Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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