So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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