Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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